Yankless, coinless,
clueless, staffless, tipless, hapless. Is
playerless a-comin'?
8 September 2003
By Mark Pilarski
Dear Mark,
Why are so many slots today being converted to
coinless machines? Are you a fan of them? Beth
R.
No aficionado in these shoes, Beth. I treasure
the clanking sound of coins falling into the
tray. I wonder about the rationale behind the
switch to coinless machines. Casino operators of
my acquaintance have long understood the value
of "the sounds of winning," so much so that they
install "loud drop bowls," those metal trays
that catch the slugs in a payoff and give
clangorous voice to someoneıs good fortune.
The song of these deeper pans implies that
people are winning big. Hmmm... well,
personally, the fun factor of yanking a handle
and the happy-finger scooping up of the loot
somehow tends to obscure its meagerness. Today,
approximately 20% of the 700,000 plus slots in
North America are now coinless. Casinoıs
marketeers claim players want the coinless
machines because they are weary of waiting for
slot personnel to pay off their jackpots. They
also reckon standing in the cashierıs line with
30 pounds of winnings in a cup ainıt any fun.
Yeah, right. ...still, many of us find it
downright blissful to have that problem.
In actuality, the backroom guys with the green
eyeshades point out that casinos are cashing in
big-time on the cashless machines. They reduce
the labor bill to repair the jam-ups, fill
hoppers, empty the machines of coins and bring
them to the count room, and to count the
playersı winnings at the cashierıs cage. In
addition to the resultant higher slot machine
uptime, these coinless electronic marvels can
keep track of how much money is in play at any
time.
And feel, like I do, for the cocktail waitress,
Beth, exiled to the Nickel Hell section of the
casino. Dollars to donuts her tips are down,
with no nickels clattering into the tray.
Definitely another column for another day.
Dear Mark,
While watching either the World Poker Tour or
the World Series of Poker, on the screen they
identify each playerıs chances of winning after
they receive their first two cards. Do you know
what software they use to figure those
percentages out? I figure something like that
would help my play. John H.
Specifically, what software do they use...?
Havenıt a clue. But, John, there is one slick
program, Pokalyzer, they could be usingas could
anyone with a home PC using Windowsto figure
out those same percentages. Pokalyzer allows you
to derive the exact odds for any Holdıem
situation. You simply input up to ten playersı
Holdıem starting hands (optionally, flop and
turn cards can also be added), and out come the
exact odds for each player. You specify the
cards, John, and the Pokalyzer analyzes all
possible remaining board card combinations for
the true mathematical odds. Also, by using the
Heads Up Analysis feature, you can see how any
two cards perform against all other two-card
combinations.
Other options are the "Hand Hits" analysis,
showing which cards make which hands and how
often; and the "Pokalyzer Quiz", a randomly
generated poker quiz that will continually test
your (improving) knowledge. Because it is
randomly generated, no two quizzes are ever the
same.
"Pokalyzer" retails for $29.95 and is worth
every penny of it. Their web site is:
http://www.any2cards.com. (No, Iım not on their
payroll, donıt even know anyone there. Maybe I
should.)
Hope to see you, John, a cum laude graduate from
using this program, at the final table.
Gambling quote of the week: "The only decent
people I ever saw at the racecourse were the
horses." James Joyce
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