Opulence has
its place … and price
7 September 2007
By Mark Pilarski
Dear Mark: I am interested in how, or if, the
casino's carpets guide visitors through the
space, whether it aims to work sort of like
Muzak, keeping their attention focused on the
gambling options rather than on the floor; and,
of course, if you think it's a successful move
for casinos. Alex P.
Crassly bizarre casino carpets are one of the
many methods the casino employs to get their
patrons to spend hours in their gaudily
garnished joint, losing their hard-earned money
– and just loving it.
So why are they ostentatiously designed?
Primarily so that your eyes do not linger on
them, and succumb, instead, to that "come-hither
look" where the slot machines and table games
are. (P.S. to this notion: I'm pretty sure it
doesn't work in lifting the heads of bummed out
losers.)
Others believe that the busy patterns and bright
colors work subliminally to make gamblers more
aggressive, which leads to taking more risks.
Added benefits are that patterned carpets need
to be changed less often, they hide stains well,
and busy patterns break up the long expanses of
emptiness when the casino lacks player activity.
And let's not forget that the casino purposely
makes it difficult for you to find your chips if
you happen to drop some. Okay, I'm kidding on
this point, but whether a sublime work of
tasteless art that you walk on somehow
encourages people to gamble more, yeah, maybe,
but I'm still from the camp that says the best
pro-gambling strategy for extorting someone's
hard-earned cash is chip remover, aka "free
booze." Then again, there has to be a reason why
some of the most successful business enterprises
in the world actually buy these tread-on
tapestries.
Oh, and that word you used in your question,
Muzak, it was coined in 1922 by Gen. George
Squier, who trademarked the word to mean a
system of recorded background music for
workplaces. As with carpets, casino operators
use it very effectively.
Dear Mark: One evening, after I tapped out with
the remainder of my bankroll playing slots, I
had eight hours to kill before catching a cab to
the airport. I sat in a keno lounge and
proceeded to write down all the numbers on the
keno board. On the plane ride home I inserted
all the numbers in an Excel spreadsheet and
started seeing a pattern of the same 15-20
numbers. Being that the 15-spot pays such a
large amount, what are your thoughts on my next
trip of taking my entire bankroll and wagering
it all on 15-spot tickets after I follow
patterns for a few hours? Clay F.
I'll be the first to say that even Keno --yep, I
am full of contradictions and misconceptions--
with its impregnable casino advantage, has a
certain "entertainment factor." Any game that is
enjoyable to play on a modest bankroll where you
set loss limits (under $10), and modest win
goals (free drinks), is okay by me. I will be
the last to be critical of any player whose
strategy limits his or her gambling to under 10
bucks, maintains total bankroll control, and
enjoys the R&R aspect of casino gambling.
But for you to expose your war chest of hard-won
treasure to a game that has the highest casino
odds working against you, well -- I best inform
you of what my spreadsheet foretells. If you
were to play six tickets an hour, 24/7, it would
take 8,143,074 years before you hit that
15-spot; all of which, by the way, works out to
one in 428 billion that Clay never gets anything
more than befuddled with drink, unless of course
you stiff the cocktail waitress, and then you'll
get diddly squat.
I could go on regarding the 15-spot ticket, but
I'll abbreviate a longwinded rant by quoting
Clubber Lang from Rocky III; "I predict PAIN."
Gambling Wisdom of the Week: "People always call
it luck when you've acted more sensibly than
they have." -- Anne Tyler, Celestial Navigation
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