Viva Las Vegas
27 October 2000
By Mark Pilarski
Before I Deal: I receive an abundance of mail
from individuals making their first pilgrimage
to Las Vegas asking me this or that about the
gaming Meca of the world. Not one to hold back
expressing my biased opinion, I will advise you
that discounting 50% of my dogma would be
appropriate. Two reasons why. First, I don't
reside there (I live in northern Nevada but
visit Las Vegas a dozen times a year) and
second, I'm a journalist. Properly forewarned,
here is a sampling of the many questions I get
weekly.
...I'm doing a report for school... Here aresome
Las Vegas fun facts.
o More than 30 million people will visit Las
Vegas in 1996.
o 80,000 couples tied the knot there last year.
o Las Vegas has more than 105,000 hotel rooms
and is growing hourly.
o Hotel occupancy averages more than 92%
annually.
o Las Vegas has 13 of the 15 largest hotels in
the world.
o The average annual temperature is 66 degrees.
o The average daily humidity is 30%.
o More than 1.4 million people call Las Vegas
home.
o 850 flights a day bring in more than 2.5
million visitors a month.
o MaCarren airport is the 8th busiest in the
world.
o The Circus Circus buffet cattle-feeds more
than 12,000 customers per day-that's four
million per year.
...cheapest place to stay... In your car. A
bargain compared to the Ladd Hotel back in 1905.
One dollar bought weary travelers-same sex-eight
hours sleep in a shared bed.
Honestly, it's a tough call because room rates
change with the wind. The best time of the year
though is pre-Yuletide. Between Thanksgiving and
Christmas rooms can be had for under $20.
...best buffet... Here are my three favorites
for those interested in abdominal distention.
The Rio Buffet, Fiesta's Festival Buffet and the
Texas Station's Market Street.
Warning! For the gastronomically fit.
...I collect war memorabilia from pawn shops...
You mean the best place to hock your wedding
ring? Try Super Pawn.
...decent steak-and-eggs special... You can't
beat the $2.99 special at the Rio or the
midnight breakfast specials at Binion's.
...any culture in Las Vegas... The
Holyfield/Tyson fight doesn't count?
Unfortunately, the only thing I do culturally in
LV is walk past the exact replica of David at
Caesar's Palace on the way to a hot crap table.
Standing 18 feet high and weighing more than
nine tons, the stone came from the same quarry
in Carrera, Italy that Michangelo used to carve
his David.
...best escort service... Ask the wrong person
and you'll find out. The Las Vegas Metro Police
Vice Squad. Avoid the breakfast they serve.
Runny scrambled eggs and cold hashbrowns.
...sound guidance for a newcomer... This
cautionary advice comes from Ed Reid and Ovid
Demaris in, The Truth about Las Vegas: "The
surest way to beat Las Vegas is to get off the
plane that has taken you there and walk straight
into the propeller."
...favorite swimming pools... The fountain at
Caesar's with Giovanni Bologna's Rape of the
Sabines in it. I'm not recommending this
swimming hole because it will save you a trip to
the Palazzo Vecchio in Florence, Italy. No, no.
It's because the wishful sometimes throw in
five-dollar chips for luck.
...I want to get married quickly... Try the
Little White Chapel. Couples in a rush can use
the drive-through window.
...best hamburger... Those with cholesterol
levels below 250, try LJ's Place. Above 250, get
your doctor's permission.
...best place to shoot pool... The Lion's Den.
Forget the fact that it's one of the largest
pool halls in the world, or that it is new and
clean. I like it because it has straight pool
sticks.
...I love singing at Karaoke bars... You're
kidding, right?
...looking for a good Sunday brunch... The
Sunday brunch in the Ti Amo at the Santa Fe is
the best 10 dollars you'll ever spend in Nevada.
An incredible value for the price.
...any good prime rib specials...The 16-ounce
slab at the Lady Luck for $6.99 is pretty hard
to beat.
...looking to waste some time... Check into the
5,005 room MGM Grand Hotel and try to find your
way out.
...easy way to get a comp for a low
roller...Head to Vacation Village and buy in for
$10 in nickels at the video poker bar. You'll
instantly become a high roller by receiving a
free hot dog and beer.
...best Mexican food... The Tex Mex at Z Tejas
is hot, hot, hot.
...cheap beer for the non-player... Seventy-five
cents for a Corona, Becks or a Heineken equals a
cheap buzz in my book. Slots A Fun, the little
annex next to the Circus Circus, serves up some
of the cheapest brew in town.
...most impressive casino in Las Vegas...
Readers of this column know that there is
nothing I like better than half price. So when
the MGM-Primadonna partnership built the New
York, New York for half the cost of the new
billion-dollar properties currently on line, or
on the drawing board, naturally I'm impressed.
New York, New York's exterior is so spectacular,
I can't stop looking at it.
...best hot dog... Las Vegas is home of the 99¢
foot-long hot dog. Journey down the strip and
you can easily eat your weight in wieners. But I
ask you, is there a better hot dog than Nathan's
of NY? New York, New York has them. Case closed.
...I want to get away for the day... From neon
to nature, I highly recommend hiking or mountain
biking in Red Rock Canyon. Red Rock Canyon's
enormous scarlet silence will overwhelm you like
nothing man-made can.
...most overrated attraction... Once is enough
for the Mirage volcano, but nothing can touch
the Freemont Experience downtown.
... things to do in Las Vegas for children...
Wet 'N Wild is my kid's favorite, but better
yet, get in your car and take I-15 west five
hours to Disneyland.
...biggest Free attraction... A battle between
the crew of the Britannia and a hearty gang of
pirates from the Hispaniola every 90 minutes,
for five minutes, is decent. As they say: "To
the victors go the spoils of Treasure Island."
Just like the casinos, the pirates always win.
...easiest way to get your hands on some real
money... While you are downtown, stop by the
Binion's Horseshoe from 4 PM - Midnight for a
free souvenir photograph next to one hundred
$10,000 bills. I'll wager that Benny Binion made
that million dollars over and over again from
the inquisitive wandering in for the free photo.
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