Man of letters moving up
10 November 2003
By Mark Pilarski
Dear Mark,
I am currently a magazine editor looking to work
part time as a dealer, simply for a little extra
income and because I would really enjoy it. I am
good mathematically, smart, friendly, know all
the games inside and out, a college graduate; in
short, a very good dealer. How do I break into
the business? Any advice? John W.
Most newbies looking for jobs pitching cardboard
get 'em in one of two ways: a) going to a local
dealing school and then auditioning, or b) being
hired from within, i.e. boosted from some
low-level job at ABC casino, like lugging 50
pounds of change strapped to your waist. If you
cheerfully survive the mule-service, rarely call
in sick, your work history file shows no major
boo-boos, and management requires a few new
dealers, you may be sent to their in-house
college of dealing.
But-and you knew there would be a but-there are
exceptions, of which Yours Truly was one. It's
known as the Ironing Board method.
I learned on an ironing board from Jerry (who
went on to become a gaming control agent for the
State of Nevada), then auditioned for a job. Of
course, faking it can only go so far when
learning on a hot-press table. Initially, like
all break-ins, I got the heebie-jeebies if a
player happened to bet over 50 cents. That's
right folks, my virginal hour dealing BJ was on
a 50¢ game at the Club Cal Neva in downtown
Reno.
After my twenty-minute break, I was assigned a
dead $2 game. No problem, no bettors. I can do
this. Then SLOSHY STAN showed up, feeling no
pain, and started betting $5-$25 a hand. Five
minutes into his play he got a pair of aces, and
then split them.
Huh, mathematically interesting, I thought,
punching my memory back to the ironing board,
but to no avail; Jerry had never mentioned
splitting aces. Actually, a frazzled dealer of
ten minds with limited knowledge of the game
does not know what to do or pay when a player
splits aces.
This crisis situation required drastic measures
to avoid total disaster. So I pondered briefly
whether to call over a pit boss and look like an
idiot, didn't, then pretended to know what I was
doing. I made the airy decision that if you
split aces and got two face cards as lucky Stan
had just done, you just got yourself two
blackjacks, so I paid him accordingly. Stan
liked me. Oh Yeah!
I was actually paying this unmerited royalty on
spilt aces for most of my first shift until an
old-time pit boss named Dennis Healy (my
all-time favorite old-time pit boss) noticed my
generosity and asked, "You're new, right," yeah,
I answered. "Is your name Pilarski?" I replied,
yes. Then he asked, "Are you Polish?" Yep, I
said proudly. His next words were, "See me on
your break."
No slap on the wrist, nothing from Healy, unless
you count being put on secret double probation
and the demotion to the sole 50¢ game in the
house for the next two months.
So to complete my answer to you, John, get a
high-grade ironing board and a watchful roomate
willing to spend more than four hours tutoring
you.
Gambling quote of the week: "Life is a gamble,
like crossing the road. One day chicken, next
day feathers." -- Unknown
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