Those Hungry Slots
22 December 2003
By Mark Pilarski
Dear Mark,
Today's machines seem so complicated. Lines
going everywhere, coin amounts needed to insert
confusing, and of course, try figuring out the
payoffs. Most confusing though is multipliers
and multiple paylines machines. Help!
Also, is there any consistent way to win at
playing these new machines?
Helen G.
Slots, Helen, like burnt toast, haven't really
changed that much over the years. They all work
the same way; you kiss a coin a fond farewell,
insert it, pull the handle, and fish through
pocket or purse for more money. If, by some
weird brain short circuits, you think you have
any chance of winning consistently, not a
chance.
The only consistent winners at slots are the
casino owners. Both the slots of old and today's
cybernetic one-armed bandits, are machines
designed by wizards not, wherefore, you should
never, ever, think you can beat these gambling
marvels with regularity.
As to multipliers and multiple payline machines,
here's the skinny. A multiplier is a machine
that has a given payout for a certain symbol,
and the number of coins you play multiplies it.
For example, If the machine pays five coins for
three bars when you play one coin, it would pay
10 for the second coin and 15 for three coins
played. What I like about this machine is that
it does not penalize you for NOT playing maximum
coins.
If you are the type of player who typically
plays one coin at a time, this is the type of
machine you should look for. However, Helen, if
you tend to play the maximum amount, look for a
Bonus Multiplier machine. This machine operates
like the multiplier except that it offers a
bonus when you play maximum coins and hit the
jackpot. Three treasure chests may pay 1,000 for
one coin, 2,000 for two coins and 10,000 for
maximum coins. As plain as day, the bonus makes
it clearly worth going for the max.
As for a Multiple Payline machines, they have
more than one line of play, and each coin
inserted activates a particular line. If you hit
a winner on an activated line, whoopee!, but
winning on a non-activated line gets you
nothing.
All of the slot machines, Helen, have the
information you need posted somewhere on the
front. Before you sit down to play, I recommend
taking a moment and studying the machine. True,
some of the older machines had but three lines
and some of the newer slots have lines criss-crossing
in every direction, but if you just take the
time to educate yourself on any machine you're
tempted to play, you will become a smarter
player (Now, there's an oxymoron to treasure: a
smart slot player.) and this will help you pick
the machine that is best for you.
Dear Mark,
While watching the World Poker Tour on the
Travel Channel, they used the term "belly
buster." The game was moving so fast that I did
not quite get what they meant by that term. So,
what is a belly buster? Chuck R.
That's nicey talk for the gut shot, Chuck,. A
belly buster is a draw to an inside straight; a
straight that can be made only with a card of
one rank, usually somewhere in the middle. For
example, you are holding a nine-eight-six and a
five, and only the seven will give you a
straight. Then there's the double belly buster.
An example of a double belly buster would be a
queen-ten-nine-eight and a six. This is
technically an open-ended straight because
either the jack or seven would make your hand.
Gambling quote of the week: "A man who can play
delightfully on his guitar and keep a knife in
his boot would make an excellent poker player."
Winner J. Florence, Handbook for Poker (1891)
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