Warranty service with a smile
December 11,
2009
Dear Mark: As a
way of stretching your bankroll, you have stated
that on some machines you don’t need to play the
full coin amount. For that reason, to save
money, my wife will only play one coin on
progressives like Megabucks. Did she
misunderstand what you said? Cliff W.
Yes, Cliff, she did, but let’s just
call it a slight misinterpretation of what I
wrote.
On some slot machines, I
stated that it doesn't matter whether you play
one coin, or the maximum, as playing the full
amount gives you little more in the way of a
payback percentage. But with a progressive like
Megabucks, you should play max coin or shun
them.
Megabucks offers a
life-altering score, but the odds of hitting it
are 30,000,000 to one. Another downside is that
the long-term paybacks on these machines are
usually the lowest in the casino. Still, you
don’t get to tell your boss to shove it unless
you play the full amount.
As for
your wife’s playing one coin (credit) at a time,
you do this on a “straight multiplier” or “equal
distribution” machine that pays according to the
number of coins you play. For instance, if you
hit the jackpot having played one coin, the
machine will pay 500 coins, two coins, 1,000,
and three coins, 1,500.
Playing
one coin (credit) on this type of slot machine
is okay because the average return never changes
based on the number of coins you play, whereas a
progressive tacks on an additional amount of
money, a mega-jackpot, if you're playing the
maximum number of coins.
Yes, a
Megabucks progressive jackpot is colossal
compared to that of any straight multiplier, but
with odds at 30 million to one against, your
chances of hitting the big one are only a teensy
weensy bit better than zilch. So, Cliff, the
only reason to play these machines is having a
miniscule chance of hitting the big one, so tell
your wife that I recommend that she play either
the full coin amount or not at all.
Dear Mark: For many of your video poker
questions, you usually use Jacks-or-better as an
example. Am I to assume that it is the best
machine to win at? Tom E.
Not at all, Tom. I use it as an example because
it was the first, the strategy is simpler than
many others, identifying good and bad paytables
is easy, it’s a personal favorite, and because
it’s available far and wide, wherever this
column is syndicated.
Your chances
of winning on any video poker machine increase
when you play machines with the best paytables,
and when you know how to play each hand. Even on
a full pay Jacks-or-better machine, those who
don't know the proper strategy to use fare
little better than someone who’s holding a
rabbit’s foot and winging it.
Dear Mark: is there a way I can legally
avoid receiving an IRS tax form on a slot win? I
just got my first one ever here in Biloxi,
Mississippi. Terry B.
Sure, Terry, tell them you were just playing for
fun and you don’t want the money.
Sorry ‘bout that, Terry. The heavy wet snow
we’re currently having in Michigan puts me in my
comedic mood. I’ve got to get down your way
sooner than later.
Casinos are
required to report to the IRS any slot jackpot
of $1,200 or more; no exceptions. Your only
option would be to find a machine that has a
jackpot below the threshold amount at which
casinos are forced to ask for identification and
issue a W2G.
Gambling
Wisdom of the Week: “The whole secret
to gaming is to make the games liberal -- let
you use two hours instead of one to lose
your money." -- William "Si" Redd, from his
forthcoming biography, King of the Slots
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